


Expiration date

by Rona23



Series: Merlin´s  magic [46]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Boys In Love, Fluff, Gen, Lies, M/M, Magic, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Potions, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Romantic Fluff, Spells & Enchantments, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Truth, Truth Serum, idiot Merlin, truth potion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:14:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rona23/pseuds/Rona23
Summary: In hindsight, it was truly not Arthur's fault that expiration dates had not been invented yet.Who would have thought spoiled truth serum can cause memory loss?
Relationships: Gaius & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merlin´s  magic [46]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588378
Comments: 12
Kudos: 256





	Expiration date

**Author's Note:**

> The memory loss has been a request on wattpad by: sarascamander06
> 
> I don't usually do requests, because my mind keeps messing up and makes something entirely different out of it. IF it works at all.   
> And if it doesn't, I'd be too bored to write it.   
> Anyway.... I hope you like it :)

There is this..... thing …... with the vaults in Camelot. The castle was much bigger and deeper than Arthur always knew.   
This may be do to the fact that Uther Pendragon had sealed of at least half of it, when the purge began. 

Since Arthur had been crowned king, he had been doing his best to find out exactly what they had been closed off for. Here in these wide halls that could easily fit the entirety of Camelot's people under their roofs.   
The objects lay around scattered. Some things had been covered by old linens. Others, like some kind of crown/ circlet or a goblet, another time it was a violin for no reason other than that it was made of solid gold, were put on display.   
On a silver throne that was covered in runes, or a work table or any other kind of object you can place things on to.  
(There was a bathtub full of rings that shimmered red and blue in the dimming light.)

The answer, why they were closed of, was magic, of course.   
Uther Pendragon had tried to burn everything that ever had to do with magic.   
But there were things he could not get rid of. Things that were indestructible, or simply repaired themselves. Or things that, upon destroyed, would create an explosion that was big enough to destroy the entire kingdom.   
Or things that Uther was able to use as a trophy or as a weapon AGAINST sorcery.   
(Uther was a hypocrite.)

The crystal of Neathid was one example. Arthur still didn't know what kind of weapon that thing was. They found it in a small box inside a sealed wardrobe.   
Another thing they found had been part of a triskelion of sorts. It sat almost side by side with the crystal. Allegedly it was some kind of key? At least according to the documents. Regardless of what it opened, Arthur thought there was a reason why his father had never tried to open it. Maybe it hid a beast or something?

There were rings that could help a gifted sorcerer control their powers and manifest it through the enchanted object. You could see runes embedded into it. (That's the bathtub :) )  
There were other magical keys, potions or other items, which Arthur didn't know the purpose of.   
Of course there was also the golden goblet that had once made an entire army immortal.   
Either way, it was a fact that Arthur was unaware of most of those object's purposes. And it was not a fact that Arthur was proud of.

After he assumed the throne, after Uther's death, he needed some time to adjust to his new position as king. Obviously. His father just died. Arthur could barely do anything but grief those first few weeks.

But after he did, he made sure to examine everything within those vaults that he may find.   
Gaius was a great help, as you can imagine.   
Giving short descriptions here, being totally vague there. It was like a lottery with him. 

But there were a few objects which did pick Arthur's curiosity. 

“Gaius, what is this?”, Arthur picked up a rather big bottle of what looked like win that stood mindlessly in a corner of the room.

Arthur and Gaius were alone in this room. Some knights who had volunteered to help, were checking other rooms.   
The wine bottle or tankard of sorts, had hundreds of runes on it. Okay, to be fair, the only reason it caught his eye was because the knights were helping with the inventory, which meant that Gwaine was loose in the vaults.   
And if he found this bottle, who knows what kind of poison the man might get inside him or worse, spread among the knights.   
It was better to get the proper warning now. 

Gaius walked over slowly, as he always did and took the giant tankard from Arthur's hand. He swung it around like a wine taster might would and let a bit of the potion run over his hand. He didn't even have to open the thing. It just stood around like that.  
He smelled his fingers, only to look up in surprise.   
Seeing Gaius be surprised was actually kind of fun, because his back would straighten slowly and he's be shaking his head slightly, like there was some kind of mosquito flying around his head.  
But his face would always remain stoic. 

Arthur had his arms crossed and tapped the ground with his feet, waiting for an answer to his question. 

“I believe this is some kind of truth potion, my lord.”

“A truth potion?”, Arthur asked curiously.

“Yes, my lord. Before the purge these kind of potions were used to interrogate enemies. To ensure that they don't lie to the king.  
It is not poisonous, but it can cause quite the panic and chaos, if used incorrectly. ”

“How so?”, Arthur asked and frowned. 

“Everyone has secrets, Sire. Be it that the son of a farmer harbors feelings for a royal woman or a child who stole a slice of bread.   
Another may just have forgotten their mother's birthday and tried to make up for it in secret.   
It does not matter. Not all secrets are about magic or death, my lord.   
Some secrets are kept from others for their own sakes. Harmless secrets. However, revealing those secrets can cause people to become wary, untrusting and paranoid. Which is fuel for conflicts.   
I would advise not to use these kinds of potions, my king.”

Arthur swallowed and nodded. Suddenly viewing the tankard with a clenching feeling insides his guts.   
“Is that why my father had it sealed away?”  
Gaius shook his head. “I would suppose the fact that magic is involved to brew those potions was enough of a reason, my lord.”

Arthur blinked. “How long does the magic work? Would it work now?”  
Gaius inspected the potion once more.   
“Potions of this kind usually have a temporary effect. A glass of the potion would ensure you at least a day of full honesty.   
I'm not sure, how the time it has been sealed away may effect it's potency though.”

“What effect COULD time have had on the potion?”  
“I would assume it strengthens the effect. Truth potions are like fine wine, Sire. The older it is, the stronger and richer it's flavor becomes. But I've never seen a potion like this being used after a months of it's producing.  
You do not imagine using it on anyone, would you?”

Arthur flushed and licked his lip in consideration. “No, of course not, Gaius.”, he shook his head, not even convinced himself.   
“I just wanted to make sure Gwaine doesn't get hold of it. Or what would happen, if he did.”

Gaius nodded in understanding. And ironically, trust. 

\-------------------------------------

Of course, Arthur used it anyway. 

If you had a crush on someone, and weren't sure of the looks they send you -   
Not sure if the way you acted around each other were more than just king and manservant-  
If the way you argued and talked about and risked your lives for each other, was an act of friendship or maybe love....   
What would you do?

Personally, I would suggest you man up and ask, without manipulating your love to confess to you first. Because that is NOT cool, Arthur.  
But reason has never been Arthur's fortune. And since he was king, he would never listen to my suggestions. He ignores me. Because he does not recognize the power the feather holds over the sword. 

Well..... let's see where this insolence will get you. 

Arthur did it subtly, of course.   
And with subtly, he did not mean subtly at all. Arthur had brought the potion out of the vaults and into his chambers.   
There he had put some of it in a goblet for Merlin and normal wine in another goblet for himself. 

It wasn't rare that Arthur and Merlin shared stories over a glass of wine in the evening. After they ate dinner together. Or they just enjoyed each other's company and the warmth of the fire, without talking at all.  
It were these moments when Arthur dared to feel domestic and at peace. 

However, Arthur was rarely the one to poor them the wine. That way Arthur could always safe face and call Merlin insolent for acting like he was equal to the king.  
He could always order Merlin to leave. Not that he ever did. He enjoyed his company too much for that. 

Anyway, because Merlin was a lot more perceptive than Arthur gave him credit for, he immediately noticed that something was off. 

“You poured us wine.”, Merlin asked, sounding confused, but grinned, as he sat down next to Arthur.   
Arthur tried not to shake too much as he raised his own goblet to nod it at Merlin.   
“Well, I am not incompetent. I know how to poor wine.”

Merlin rose both hands in defense. “Could have fooled me.”, he said. And because Merlin trusted Arthur and knew their banter too well to doubt Arthur's intentions, he clanked his goblet against Arthur's, before taking a sip. So much for being perceptive.   
Had it been anyone else, Merlin would have inspected the wine immediately. Not that Arthur was aware of that. 

Merlin swallowed and frowned, with a lopsided grin. “Are you sure this is wine? It tastes … strange.”  
Arthur hummed and tapped the table in anticipation. “I don't know what you mean. It tastes totally normal to me.”

Merlin frowned again, after sniffing at his goblet. “I mean – it doesn't taste bad. It's very sweet. Is it.... peppermint? It goes down much darker though.” Merlin smacked his lips.   
Arthur sat down his goblet with an excited smile.   
“Well, Merlin. Do you think, I would give you anything BUT wine? What do you take me for?”

Merlin laughed a little. A fond smile on his face. And then, as though possessed his eyes went glassy, as he took Arthur in clearly and actually answered the rhetorical question.  
“You are the once and future king. You will be the greatest king Camelot has ever seen. And you are my best friend. I trust you with everything I am.”  
Merlin blinked in surprise, as he frowned at the cup.   
“Sorry. I did not mean to say that.”

Arthur flushed, despite himself. His eyes widened a little in shock. But this wasn't the first time Merlin had said it. But this time Arthur knew for certain that Merlin wasn't messing with him. This was the full truth. Merlin really believed this.   
“Well, Merlin. That is very kind of you. Tell me more?”

Merlin blinked again, that glassy look still occupying his eyes.   
“You have proven your worth as king long before you assumed the crown. You have proven that you regard love and kindness over that of fear.   
You already are a better king than your father has ever been.”

Merlin blinked again and put the cup aside, his mouth half open, as if unsure where those compliments just came from. 

Arthur, however, raised an eyebrow. “Merlin, you shouldn't speak like that over my father. I can hardly live up to all of which he has accomplished.” Arthur had a hard time remaining calm. But he was a trained knight and also king of Camelot. He had long learned to seal of his emotions.   
Even if those emotions was a squealing child inside his heart.

“You mean neglecting his own son, denying the existence of his daughter and installing a terror reign over all of Camelot? Killing innocent people for using magic, while he used it himself?”

Merlin's eyes widened and his chair scraped back with a loud creak.   
Arthur stared at him, mouth open. Wow... that was a very strong opinion on Uther.   
Arthur couldn't deny that most of this was true..... though he doubted the 'used it himself' part.

“Merlin, you're speaking treason.”, he reminded his friend. 

“What was in this wine?”

Arthur blinked. Okay, to be fair. Merlin was VERY perceptive. Though, this realization came much faster than Arthur had anticipated. He had thought Merlin to crack at his questions and realize maybe after his third glass. Not after one sip!

“I don't know what you mean.”, Arthur immediately felt guilty. This was supposed to be fun and easy (and hopefully romantic)....  
Why was the entire situation so tense?

“Don't lie to me, Arthur. The wine is enchanted. And you're neither affected, nor surprised. What did you do?”

Arthur bit his lip, before he stood up himself. Merlin was.... VERY fast to come to the right conclusion.  
“It's a truth serum. We found it in the vaults today. Don't look at me like that. Gaius told me it's not poisonous.”

Merlin looked at him, like he pointedly did not care. Or worse, like he would prefer it to be poisoned.   
“Merlin, I can explain...”, Arthur tried to say, but Merlin stepped back. Clearly in panic.

“Why would you use it on me? What's going on, Arthur?” His eyes were wide, as though he was dreading to hear a certain question. 

Arthur opened his mouth to answer, still determining what kind of question Merlin was so afraid of, when suddenly, Merlin's eyes cleared of something and he shook his head, shaking in his stance.   
Arthur inhaled a deep breath. “Merlin... I'm sorry, okay? I won't – “  
Arthur had wanted to say that he wasn't going to ask any more questions, because he didn't want Merlin to be too uncomfortable. He had just wanted Merlin to let his feelings slip, since he hid them all the time.   
They were friends. Arthur deserved to know right?  
Considering Merlin's expression... Arthur's behavior proofed that he was NOT deserving of those answers.

But now Merlin was growing paler and sweat started to sweat.   
“Are you okay?”  
Panic spread through Arthur's insides as he asked this, setting down his own wine. Was the serum poisonous after all?

Merlin shook his head again, before holding it and then meeting Arthur's eyes.   
“Sire?”, he asked, as if confused what Arthur was doing here.   
“Merlin.”, Arthur breathed.   
“Did – did you call for me?”  
“Merlin?”, Arthur tilted his head. “Is everything alright?”

“I – yes, Sire. Of course. You wanted dinner, right? Right.”, Merlin clapped his hands, as if he just remembered what he was doing here.   
“Dinner it is. I'm quite out of it. I'll get you some immediately.”

“Merlin, I just finished.”, Arthur pointed wordlessly at the empty plates at the table. And the goblets of wine.   
“Oh.”, Merlin nodded, and irritatingly, sat down. 

And then, as if he was completely out of his mind, he chucked down the entire contentment of his goblet in one giant swig.   
Merlin licked his lips. “This tastes strange, Sire. Is it peppermint?”

Arthur could only stare at his servant. The way Merlin looked at the goblet though..... he looked suspicious. Again....  
“Merlin?”, Arthur was almost scandalized. Only seconds ago, Merlin had accused Arthur of using sorcery. Now he drank the wine like nothing had happened? Like he didn't care?

“Merlin?”

The glassy look returned. Then Merlin looked at Arthur, smiled and jumped to his feet.   
“Arthur... right. Dinner.” He looked at the empty plates in confusion. “Did... did we eat already?”

Arthur's eyes widened.   
“Merlin, sit down and stay there. I'll call for Gaius.”  
“What? Why?”, Merlin tilted his head.   
“Just.... stay.”  
Arthur was about to run out the door, that he realized he couldn't leave Merlin alone in here.   
So he grabbed his keys and locked the door to his chambers from the outside.   
All while curiously being watched by Merlin. 

Just as Arthur locked the door, he could hear Merlin call out to him. “Sire? Are you going somewhere?”

One could say, Arthur's reaction had been sudden, but really.... something was wrong with Merlin, if he just CHUCKED down the entire goblet of possibly poisonous truth serum!  
Arthur ran as fast as he could. Sure, he was embarrassed. But more than that, he was utterly frightened.   
Memory loss was NOT one of the side effects Gaius had described.   
Arthur was still dressed, thankfully, as he ran passed servants and knights and only skit to a halt as soon as he made it to Gaius's chambers. 

“GAIUS!”, Arthur basically shouted, as he entered the room.   
Gaius was currently fixing up one of Arthur's knights. It was a newer one. The new recruits always required stitches more often than the older ones. They were more reckless, less experienced and often brutal. But Arthur paid him no attention.

“My lord? To what do I owe the honor?”  
The knight straightened his back upon seeing the king himself. He only nodded, before averting his eyes, in hopes that Arthur would not remember him like this. Wounded in his first lesson. 

Arthur ignored him.   
“Gaius, was memory loss a side effect of the truth serum?”  
Gaius looked completely taken aback. “Sire?”  
“Please just answer the question.” Arthur was basically jumping from one foot to the other. 

“Did Gwaine find the truth serum and use it on one of the knights?”

Arthur felt ashamed. “No.”  
Gaius blinked. “What happened?”  
“I gave some to Merlin.”, Arthur looked down. 

Gaius immediately let go of the new knight's shoulder and stared at Arthur in disbelieve.   
The lecture on 'didn't I tell you NOT to use it?' was hanging in the atmosphere. But Gaius pushed the thoughts aside in favor of his fatherly feelings for his ward.   
“You stay here.”, he demanded the knight.   
“I'll send Guinevere to tend to you. She knows how to stitch a wound. I will be back shortly.”

After that, Gaius grabbed for his satchel full of supplies – usually prepared for house visits – and followed Arthur out the room.   
Of course, Gaius told a walking buy maid to call for Gwen and let her do the physician's work. 

Gwen and Arthur had courted once. But after a while, they had both realized it made no sense for them to see each other anymore.   
They both held interest elsewhere. Which made them awesome accomplices. Friends even, nothing else. 

But Arthur did not have a mind for that, as he half walked, half jogged after Gaius. 

They reached the chambers shortly. Arthur hurried to open the door with his keys. Only to find Merlin sitting at the table, wistfully tipping at a lonely grape.   
He looked tired, burdened even.   
This could not be, Arthur had left him for mere minutes only. Why was Merlin looking like someone had died? 

“Merlin?”, Gaius asked, but Merlin didn't even look up.   
“Merlin, can you hear me?”  
“Of course I can hear you Gaius.”, Merlin said and rose from his chair. He looked at Arthur once, then turned his head away. 

“You don't seem well. Is something bothering you?”

When Merlin's head snapped around, his eyes were glassy again. But the kind that made him speak secret truths, not the one that made him forget.   
“You just told me that Balinor was my FATHER, Gaius and he DIED in my arms! What do you THINK, bothers me?”  
Merlin's eyes widened, horrified as he clapped his hands in front of his mouth. Eyes flicking to Arthur in shock at his own words.

He looked at Arthur, horrified. “I did not mean to say that.”, he gasped in a panic.   
“Gaius, I SWEAR I did not mean to say that!”

Arthur stood there, frozen still. His mouth opened intelligently, before he managed to close it again.   
“Your father was BALINOR?”, he said, even though Merlin was PANICKING upon this reveal. 

“Gaius, please, you must believe me!”

“Merlin, calm down.” Gaius went over and forced him to sit. That's just who Gaius was. Always demanding, always withholding his true opinion. Always stating cold facts. Which is why his judging glare hurt much more than most people's open opinions did.   
Arthur gulped, as Gaius send him a glance. 

Then Gaius sighed and reached for the truth serum that Arthur had placed under the table. Just in case something went wrong and Merlin grabbed the wrong goblet or something. Then Arthur could have pretended to refill it at some point. 

Gaius poured Merlin's cup full of it and then inspected the serum again under less dim light. Which was why he noticed something he hadn't down in the vaults.  
“I'm afraid the serum has gone bad, my lord.”  
Gaius turned around and regarded Arthur a scolding look. “Haven't I told you not to use it?  
What would you even giving it to Merlin for?”

Arthur froze, as Gaius stared at him. Merlin's eyes, however cleared again. And he grabbed for the wine. Arthur's goblet this time, before taking a sip. Completely disregarding the fact that this wine was neither his, nor that they were in the middle of a conversation.  
Or that this one too, could have been poisoned. 

It looked almost as though he had lost his mind. Did this mean, Merlin's mind was going backwards? Forgetting moment for moment, until ultimately there would be no memories left?

Arthur realized with a start that he had to tell Gaius what or rather WHY he had done this. He had to admit it to Gaius at least. That was only fair. He deserved to know why Arthur had just poisoned his ward.   
“I'm in love with him.”, Arthur's hands balled into fists as he said this, he gulped down. Merlin was busy with the wine and – quite literally – loosing his mind. There was no real danger in speaking about it now, even in front of him. But it still left his heart burning from how fast it beat in his chest.   
Looking at neither of the two men, he could tell Gaius was raising his eyebrows. As well as gaping at him in surprise.   
“I wanted to know if he felt the same. It was supposed to be a joke. ”

Merlin gave Arthur a strange look. “You're in love with who? Him? A man? I thought you like Gwen.”, he blinked and Arthur winced at the question.   
“No. Not anymore.”

“But...”, his eyes cleared again. “What are we talking about?”

“Sire, I am confused. When did this happen?”, Gaius asked, and finally started to check on Merlin's pulse and heart beat and breathing intensity and such. As he should. A physician had to check on the health of his patients first, before asking uncomfortable questions. 

“It's.... complicated.”, Arthur sank his head again.   
“So, instead of asking him directly, you decided to use a magical truth potion?”  
Arthur bit his lip. “You know how much we banter. I didn't think he'd take me serious!”  
“Arthur, don't be ridiculous. Merlin knows you better than anyone else. He knows how to pick up on your tone. If you had been sincere, he would have treated you as such.”

Arthur winced. Of course, Gaius was right. Merlin did know him too well. 

“A truth potion? Arthur used magic?”, Merlin's head turned to him, wide in shock.   
“But Arthur, your father -”  
“I am king now, Merlin.”  
Merlin blinked. Then sat back down. “Am I missing something? Wait... Arthur. Weren't you under a LOVE potion? Where is Vivian?”  
Merlin looked around, as if the enchanted princess were to tumble out of his wardrobe at any second.   
In fact, Merlin got up and looked inside.   
Did..... did Merlin see her in there back when Arthur first met her? Arthur felt like he was missing some kind of joke here.  
Wait, was Merlin actually going back with his memories to these times? Was he completely out of his sense of time? 

“Hold on.... if you're king now.... and you used magic. Is magic legal now?”, Merlin seemed to finally come to his senses, because he turned on his heels, looked at Arthur with the greatest hopeful smile Arthur had ever seen.....

And then it was over. Merlin's eyes cleared and he took in his surroundings again. 

“He's out of his mind.”, Arthur finally exclaimed.   
Gaius sighed heavily. “I fear...”, Gaius said worriedly, “There is nothing we can do. His mind is regressing. It's not his short term memory that is effected, it is his entire life he's forgetting.   
If it continues like this, he will soon forget who we are. Or worse, who HE is.”

“Is there any way out of this?”

“I can only hope it is as temporary as truth serums usually are. However, I cannot say for sure. As I've told you before, I've never seen a case like this.”

There was a pause between them, as Merlin suddenly ran up to Arthur, to shout in his face.   
“Arthur! Lady Catrina is a troll! She has enchanted Uther! We HAVE to stop her.”  
Arthur blinked a couple of times. That was years ago...   
“Merlin, I know. It's been taken care of.”, he nodded. Merlin looked at him in disbelieve, then he pointed at the window, then Arthur. “But -”, he started and one moment later, he had already forgotten the conversation had ever happened at all. 

“You have acted recklessly my king. I cannot say I approve of your actions. But what done is is done. We can only wait and hope for the best.”

Arthur's shoulder's slumped at the statement. 

There must be SOMETHING.

\----------------------------

Arthur and Gaius just kept sitting there in the room, while occasionally Merlin would speak to them, or try and pick up a piece of armor to clean, before forgetting all about it and sitting down again.   
Then he jumped to his feet again and did something else. Or repeat his entire behavior as though he actually always did his job. 

Occasionally he would ask Arthur a specific question that he didn't get in this context and then grow quiet again.

Suddenly, Merlin was humming. Almost dancing across Arthur's room, completely ignoring Gaius and Arthur's existence.   
“What's he doing?”, Arthur asked, almost mesmerized by the sight of a completely carefree and happy Merlin.   
“I believe he is humming, my lord.”  
“Yes, but why?”

Merlin turned around and beamed at Arthur. With so much happiness and joy, Arthur felt his heart constrict.   
“Merlin, what are you so happy about?”  
“I've met someone. She's beautiful, you should have seen her.”, Merlin said and then blinked, as if in disbelieve that he had just admitted this. He shook his head and continued his humming, like he hadn't just SHATTERED Arthur's heart into a million tiny pieces. 

Arthur felt his eyes sting, suddenly. Even though he knew this must have been years ago.   
“Sire – I think I know when this is...”, Gaius said, eyes wide. 

“Who is she”, Arthur asked instead. Because he knew, they only had a short period of time, before Merlin would be completely unable to answer.   
Right now he was still bound to say the truth.   
“Her name is Freya.”, Merlin said without hesitation. “She's a druid. But she is enchanted. I love her. She understands me.”  
Merlin stopped, blinking in confusion. 

Arthur's inside clenched at the knowledge that Merlin had been in love. Maybe... he still was.  
It would probably haunt Arthur less than … whatever this is. Arthur had known nothing of this. That Balinor was apparently Merlin's father was one thing.   
The man was a searched for criminal. Of course, if Merlin had said anything, he would most likely be executed for just mentioning it.   
This however.... This was different. 

“What is there to understand about you?”, Arthur asked, sounding more bitter than he should and Merlin looked at him again.   
“I can't tell you. Though I believe you could probably understand a little. You're powerful. People fear you, too. But you don't know what it feels like to be seen as a monster, Arthur.   
Being the most powerful man you know, but having to live like a shadow.   
To be special, but having to pretend you're a fool. It's … lonely. ”(1)

Gaius's mouth dropped in shock at Merlin, while Arthur just stared at Merlin. A man who looked so.... so sad upon admitting this. Tears gathered in his eyes.  
But right when Arthur wanted to ask, what the hell that meant, Merlin's eyes cleared again. 

Gaius slowly turned to Arthur. “Sire -”

Arthur turned his head to him. “Gaius? You know what he means?”

All of a sudden, Merlin jumped to his feet. “I thought I was in a cave?”, he asked and looked around. His eyes fell on Gaius.   
“Gaius? I thought there was a dragon here? He told me of my destiny....”

Gaius jumped to his feet. “My boy. Stop talking. If you value your life, stop right now.”  
“What dragon?”  
Arthur felt like someone had hit him on the head with the hilt of his sword. Multiple times, today.  
Maybe he deserved it.   
Maybe forcing someone to tell you the truth made YOU the fool for being hit by information you did not want to hear. You did not know were even a subject. You knew NOTHING about. Not even that there was another secret at all.

“What is prince prat doing here?”, Merlin asked, looking at Arthur with an almost hostile, if still playful expression. Like he used to, right after they had just met.  
“Merlin -”, Arthur tried again, but that's when Merlin's eyes cleared one last time. 

He blinked, confused and shook his head, before turning to Arthur. As if seeing him for the first time. Then he walked forwards, almost purposefully.   
“Hello.”, he said and stretched out his hand.   
Gobsmacked, Arthur was forced into shaking it. 

“I'm Merlin. I'm from Ealdor. My mother send me here to find Gaius, the court physician?”

Arthur couldn't help it – sure the secrets that Merlin had just IMPLIED, had hurt him.   
But nothing hurt as much as being completely and utterly forgotten by someone you love with all your heart.   
“I-”, Arthur tried to say, but once again, Gaius interrupted him. 

“Merlin, my boy. I am Gaius.” Merlin's head snapped around.   
“Oh.”, he smiled. “Nice to meet you. I am Merlin.”, he said with a wide grin and held out his hand once again. 

The same horror Arthur had felt earlier could now be seen in Gaius eyes. Merlin – a man he treated like his own son – had forgotten him.  
(Not that Arthur knew what it felt like to be loved by a father * cough *.)

Merlin turned back to Arthur again, a playful grin on his face. “I'm sorry. Who are you?”

Arthur swallowed deeply. “I'm -”, he said and grasped for words with his mind.   
“I'm Arthur Pendragon. King of Camelot.”

Merlin blinked and grinned in surprise. “Oh.”, he simply said and finally took in his surroundings.   
“Where am I?”  
“My chambers.”, Arthur deadpanned. 

Merlin's eyes scanned the room again. “May I ask why I'm here?”

Arthur couldn't answer. Neither could Gaius. But Merlin had discarded all interest for them and walked around to inspect Arthur's stuff.   
The dinner they had both sat at merely an hour ago. The goblets of wine they had both drunken from and that had started this entire mess.   
The armor that lay in a corner and that Merlin was supposed to polish. And started polishing so many times, that it was.... partly... clean.  
Also the basket full of laundry that Merlin should be washing right now. 

Arthur and Gaius waited. Expecting Merlin to forget where he was again. But the more time stretched on, the cleared it became to Arthur that Merlin's memories had regraded to this.   
He didn't know why. He didn't know what determined the amount of time that Merlin would forget. 

Merlin – insolent and clumsy as always – sat down on Arthur's bed.   
He tested the bouncy mattress.   
“Are either of you going to answer me?”

“Merlin, you've er-”, Arthur bit his bottom lip. “You've lost your memories. You've been in Camelot for years. You're the court physician's apprentice. And my manservant.   
I -”

Merlin frowned comically and stopped bouncing on the bed. “I've lost my memories? I can't remember that.”, he cackled.   
“Sorry. No be honest. You can't be serious, right? How would I have lost my memories?”

Gaius sighed and walked over to Merlin again. At this point, it was pretty clear that Merlin wasn't having another clear – eye moment.   
“Merlin. You've drunken a magical potion. It's knocked your memories right out of your head.”, Gaius put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. 

Somehow.... Merlin looked younger, Arthur noticed. It was the way that Merlin looked relaxed in front of these two strangers that gave it away.   
The way his legs dangled on over the bed instead of holding still. The way his eyes were wide and open instead of resigned and darting everywhere but Arthur's eyes.   
'Huh....', Arthur thought. 'Merlin has changed, after all.'

“A magical potion? IN Camelot's future? Why, is magic legal now?”, his eyes widened once more in happy anticipation. His face gave so much away. Merlin was usually so much more stoic.  
Arthur had never seen this man be so happy about magic.  
Then again.... THIS Merlin JUST came from Ealdor. His friend – Will – he had been a sorcerer, right?

“No, magic is not legal.”  
Merlin's expression fell. “Oh.”, he said. Almost disappointed. Then he bit his lip.   
“Is it still punishable by death? Or are people being punished for crimes now, rather than existing?”

Arthur's eyes widened and Gaius put a protective hand on Merlin's mouth.   
“You should really consider your word choices in front of the king of Camelot!”, Gaius said, his eyes flicking to Arthur.   
Arthur, who could only stare. Of course, Merlin had always been insolent and disrespectful of the crown. Plus, he was victim to a truth serum right now, so he couldn't lie. But that opinion alone.... that single opinion, it made Arthur's heart stutter.   
He had always believed he was the only one who saw good in magic.   
The only person who doubted the laws, beyond their enemies.

Merlin, however, frowned and pushed Gaius's hand off.   
“I did not mean to say that. What else was in that potion? I didn't just loose my memories, did I? I feel like I just drank a truth potion. I can't even lie.”  
Merlin's eyes fixed on Arthur, who stood there, lost.  
Of course, even younger Merlin had already figured it out. Arthur didn't give the man enough credit – ever.

Arthur nodded shortly, his teeth clenched together.   
Merlin's eyes widened as he realized his assumption was on point. “I DID? WHY!”  
Arthur flushed bright red. “It was a joke.”, he half lied. 

“You're a -”, Merlin's voice stuck in his throat. “-prat, you know that?”

“MERLIN!”, Gaius scolded. But Arthur felt a little relieved to be insulted. Merlin didn't seem too annoyed or mad at him.   
“You never fail to remind me.”, Arthur said and send Merlin a small smile. 

“I do?”, Merlin raised an eyebrow quizzically. Then he pouted a little and jumped to his feet, to round Arthur, as though he was some kind of silver ware that he inspected from all sides, to be certain it was clean enough.   
“If I can insult you, are we friends?”

Arthur nodded shortly. Then shook his head. “You're my servant.”

Merlin scoffed immediately. “I'm nobody's servant. I wouldn't serve a royal, even IF we were friends.”

“My father forced you into that position, for saving my life.”, Arthur cleared up the confusion. 

Merlin considered this for a moment. “How did I save your life?”  
Arthur found it ridiculous, how suddenly it was Merlin who kept asking questions. Merlin had always been noisy. But he had never been someone who pried.   
Maybe the truth potion made him unable to hide his curiosity. 

“You pushed me aside during an assassination attempt directed at me with a knife.”  
Merlin nodded. Then frowned. “I pushed you aside?”

Okay... that stung. “What? You regretting that now?”, Arthur felt strangely defensive. He's always held that memory dear to him. Because Merlin had never been obliged to protect his life.   
His knights were, of course. But Merlin did so voluntarily.   
“How did I push you aside?” Arthur blinked. No. That was not confusion in Merlin's eyes. That was something else entirely. It was another question, hidden beneath layers of self defense.

“With your hands? Jesus, Merlin. Sometimes I wonder if you're dense.”

Merlin looked at him in confusion. “So you don't know then.”  
“Know what?”

“That I -”

“ENOUGH!”, Gaius shouted, almost out of breath. Which was comical, because he had only watched their exchange and stood there. 

In fact, Gaius threw his arms between Merlin and Arthur. The problem was, he was still holding on to the tankard.   
Which ….. fell to the ground.  
And shattered there. Expired truth serum spilled every-

It stopped. 

For one long moment, Arthur thought it was his imagination. Stopping time, the shards of the tankard basically stood in the air, just like the drops of serum did.   
Blinking, Arthur walked towards it and tapped against one of the shards to make sure he wasn't imagining it. It gave way and spiraled into the air.

“Oh, Merlin.”, Gaius said and covered his face. 

Arthur swirled around. There Merlin stood, his eyes gold and unblinking, as the tankard sat down on the ground. Slowly and certainly. Like time rewind itself, the drops of serum filled the bottle up again. And there it stood on the ground, safe and sound. No shards remained, the tankard was completely repaired. Or rather … unshattered. 

But Arthur's eyes went wide. 'How did Merlin -'  
His mouth shaped a giant 'oh' in realization. 'What a stupid question, that was magic. MAGIC! MERLIN JUST USED MAGIC!'

And for such a simple thing too. Arthur wanted to be mad, really. But he was a little too confused over the fact that Merlin would spill a secret this huge over a bottle of liquid. …. Pun not intended.(2)  
Because.... Merlin was the Merlin who had come to Camelot years ago, right now. 

A skilled sorcerer would NEVER reveal his magic to the king of Camelot over something as useless as this. Especially, if he attempted to kill the king.   
No... there was no way Merlin was using magic for anything like plotting against Arthur.   
Or … or Uther. (Even if he was already dead.)  
Merlin did not come here with such intentions, or else he would have been more careful. 

Arthur had thought it earlier.... he believed there could be good in magic. 

But this? This was neither good nor bad. This was FOOLISH. This was mundane! This was casual. Like Merlin used magic on INSTINCT.   
Hold on, that was not possible. 

“You're a sorcerer.”, Arthur deadpanned after a resolute minute of silence. 

Merlin grinned sheepishly. Not regretful, not even fearful. “It's not my fault. I was born with it. I came to Camelot to learn to control it better.”

Arthur searched for something in Merlin's eyes. Lies. Lies? Merlin was physically incapable of lying right now. 

“Merlin, how many times do I have to tell you! Magic is a secret to be guarded with your LIFE!”, Gaius ran his hands through his hair.   
“This is JUST the way you behaved when you came here. How can someone like you be so RECKLESS!”

“I'm sorry, I couldn't help it! It was a reflex. It's not like I remember your warnings.”, Merlin said unbothered and turned back to Arthur.   
“You wouldn't have me killed for this, would you? You said we were friends.”

Arthur blinked. Mouth agape. Seriously? MERLIN used the friend argument right now?  
“You've lied to me for years.”, he finally managed to bring out. His voice was shaking.   
Gaius breathed in a shattering breath. “Arthur -”, he now began, but Arthur shushed him. 

“Have you never lied?”, Merlin asked after a moment of considering. After all, he didn't even know how long he'd been lying. Or what exactly for. 

Arthur watched his hands for a moment. Of course he had lied.  
He had lied so many times, he lost count. 

He had lied to his father about the morteus flower. A flower that saved Merlin from certain death once.

Arthur had lied about the quest he was send on, to prove himself worthy of the crown of Camelot. He was supposed to go to the perilous lands, alone and unguided. Merlin had followed him. They had kept it a secret among themselves. 

Arthur had lied about 'not loving Guinevere', so his father couldn't accuse her of bewitching him (again).

Arthur had lied to the entire kingdom, when he disguised himself as Sir William to win a tournament in all true fairness.

Arthur had lied to his father to help Merlin protect the people in Ealdor.

He had lied to Gwen about cooking her dinner.

Arthur had lied often. For many reasons. For many important reasons. Yet, he felt he didn't deserve this. 

“I never lied to YOU.”, Arthur said with sadness. At least, no lies that Merlin didn't immediately look though.   
Arthur felt hurt and …. yes sad. But somehow, there was no anger. He couldn't be angry with Merlin. For some reason, the clumsiness, the carelessness Merlin portrayed in using magic made him feel... robbed, more than angered or betrayed. It made him feel robbed of trust, of knowledge.   
But all in all, he found he understood.

Merlin's eyes pinched with shame, which he had no reason for. He was not the Merlin who had lied to Arthur. This Merlin had basically told him immediately.   
Arthur wondered what had made Merlin a liar in the first place. Obviously, it was not the magic.   
Maybe it was Gaius. Maybe he was the one who ordered Merlin to lie. His reaction from earlier gave it away.

Arthur blinked. Somehow it was easier to blame Gaius. Somehow it was easier to be angry at the old man.

“If the ban on magic is still in place and punishable by death, I believe I had a good reason not to tell you. My life depends on it.”  
Merlin slowly turned to Gaius. “AM I going to die? Or not? The king used a magical potion on ME. AM I going to be executed?”

Merlin's face was a mix of emotions. Fear, disbelieve, confusion and hope. But also nonchalance.   
This, as Arthur will probably never find out, was because at this point in Merlin's life, he hadn't actually seen an execution.   
It was part of the memories this Merlin had forgotten. The lack of warning made him even more careless. 

And then Gaius spoke up, seemingly realizing something. 

“Sire, I believe I understand now.”

“Understand what?” Arthur knew, Gaius wanted to gain time, and Arthur gladly took the opportunity. He didn't want to sentence Merlin to anything after all. Wait a second....  
He was the KING, he didn't HAVE to sentence Merlin to anything.   
He frowned. Well THAT was an easy decision?

“The serum, sire. We know that the expiration is what causes his amnesia. I believe, Merlin has just forgotten all about the lies he's ever told. He never had to lie in Ealdor.   
But in Camelot, his magic had to remain a secret. The potion has erased not the secret, but the memory of it. Merlin does not know what crimes he may have committed. Therefore, he is innocent.” Gaius looked proud of himself.   
He must think Arthur was about to kill Merlin. He MUST think that such subtle ways of swaying his mind would help Merlin now.   
In truth, he only made Arthur doubt his decision. 

“Lack of knowledge does not pardon murder, Gaius.”

Gaius face fell immediately, before he searched for Merlin's eyes.   
Arthur's heart beat faster at that. 'What does that look mean? Gaius? GAIUS! You can't just stay QUIET right now! Whom did Merlin kill?', but he didn't ask that out loud. Even though he was fighting himself to. 

“However, I do not believe Merlin is capable of murder. He can hardly find his own backside, how could he ever kill anyone?”  
And, because Arthur was desperate, he added a “right?”

Merlin looked at him with irritation. “Of course I wouldn't. Never.”

Arthur sighed in relief. He still felt hurt, of course. But at least he could be sure this was the truth.

“Magic should never be used for fighting. It speaks against everything that magic is. Magic is LIFE. Killing at all is horrible.   
But killing WITH magic? That's.....”, Merlin shuddered in a deep breath.   
“It's like you'd use your own guts to strangle a child.”

Arthur's eyes widened in horror at the image.   
“All Camelot's enemies have used magic for fighting. What else can you use magic for?”

At this, Merlin beamed. “Would you like to see?”

Arthur stared at this man. This... almost child. So eager, so in love with his own magic. Like it was the purest element, worth the most innocent fascination.   
Forgotten was Arthur's initial goal to find out if Merlin liked him back.   
THIS was more important. 

“I'd love to, yes.”  
Gaius gave Arthur a look. “Sire....”

“Gaius, I know you want to protect Merlin. But each time you open your mouth, I get the feeling you're defending my father and his views on magic more than magic itself.   
You've practiced it and know the danger. And I welcome your warnings.   
However, the warnings you've given have always added to my doubts. In all directions. I've SEEN the evil magic can do.   
Just this once.... show me that it can do good as well.”

Arthur locked eyes with Gaius, who looked a little stunned. It was true though. Gaius always warned. Gaius always believed to know which side Arthur was on.   
And he tried to appeal to that certain view. Always tried to soothe that part, while laying out small hints that his own opinion was actually quite different.

It was hard to read this old man. Gaius tried to save the people he loved. But he gave up too easily. He turned a blind eye all too soon.   
Because he was in the unfortunate situation to love both the oppressor AND the victim.   
How was he supposed to make a choice? When each choice lead to death? And each death was his fault?  
Maybe, he had almost grown numb to it. 

Like this, he could give himself the illusion of innocence. He found a way to forgive himself, by not looking.   
But right now, Arthur was actually fighting his own inner voice, which sounded a lot like his father. And adding Gaius's warnings and his weak attempts to save someone who was beyond saving, did NOT help right now. 

Gaius didn't use magic anymore. He just warned of it.   
Arthur wanted to see it. See real magic that wasn't directed at anyone in particular. 

And Arthur had every right to trust Merlin right now, because the man was under a truth spell. He couldn't lie. He said it himself, he wouldn't murder. He wouldn't kill under any circumstances, especially not with his magic. (3)  
Arthur would be save with him. Why was Gaius still trying to convince Arthur that Merlin was good enough?   
Why was he wording it in a way that suggested that Merlin had ever harmed anyone? Why was he focusing so much on the lies?  
It only sprouted seeds of doubts in Arthur's mind.

Everybody lies. Surely, Merlin had his reasons. Arthur may not like the lying part, but before he knew the full truth, he was willing to give Merlin a chance.   
To show him what magic really was like... beneath all the lies. And why he was so determined to protect this secret from Arthur. 

“I'm sorry, my lord.”, Gaius said. And with that Arthur dismissed him. 

\---------------------------------------

Arthur rode out with this Merlin into the woods. Merlin looked... unafraid. As though he trusted Arthur. He was wary of him, but not as much as Arthur would have expected.   
It felt almost like old times, when Arthur was still the prince and Merlin would rattle on beside him about flowers and butterflies and what not.   
In fact, Arthur was pretty sure, Merlin had held this rant to him before. Long... long ago. 

When had Merlin – the older one – started to quiet down? When had his eyes, so full of wonder, dulled into one of duty and responsibility?  
For all Arthur's jokes on Merlin's competence, he had noticed the changes. 

The horses neighed and he night stretched fully above them.   
It was dark. Darker than usual, because the sky was clouded. It would rain soon, Arthur noticed absentmindedly. 

They came to a clearing near a small lake. It was there, under the faint light of a half moon, that Merlin jumped off his mare.   
He waited, until Arthur had followed his example, then he lead the horses to a tree and bound them to it. 

Then he turned back to Arthur with a bright smile. 

Arthur stood there, waiting. Merlin looked at him, then he closed his eyes and breathed.   
His arms stretched out to both his sides, he inhaled the wind.   
Arthur's eyelids fluttered, as he turned around. The wind was actually increasing around them.   
But that wasn't all.   
There were shadows in the woods. On reflex, Arthur grabbed for his sword, but then he heard Merlin laugh.

And when he turned around again, Merlin's head was tilted to the side in amusement, his eyes golden.   
And around him a swarm of glowing butterflies.   
Merlin looked after them himself, as the reached for the sky and disappeared in all directions.   
Again, Merlin blinked and stretched out his hand for the moon.   
And when Arthur followed the movement with his eyes, he saw the moon grow. Grow and expand, until a bright full moon send bluish light over them.   
The few clouds in the sky followed the wind and cleared up the sky to reveal hundreds, if not thousands of stars. 

Arthur didn't know where to look first, as he noticed that Merlin knelt down to the ground.   
The earth around them, once bare and broken from the frost of the cold night, rumbled beneath their feet. And suddenly grass and flowers sprouted from Merlin's hands. Their roots buried themselves deep into the ground and everything around them began to glow. 

Only now, the shadows came closer. And if Arthur hadn't been so absorbed by the growing flowers around them, he would have attacked them.   
If Arthur hadn't been so enamored with Merlin's magic, he would have noticed those shadows were actually animals.   
Dears, ducks, owls, birds, wolves, squirrels... all kinds of animals.   
And not just them. There were creatures that Arthur recognized as magical as well. There was a bloody unicorn for god's sake. 

Something told Arthur that none of these animals were here to attack either of them.   
And he was right. The just surrounded them, until Merlin walked around to greet each of them. Arthur noticed, how flora grew beneath Merlin's boots. 

“I've always loved nature.”, Merlin finally interrupted the silence. 

Arthur's lips quivered from amazement. He didn't know what to say.   
“You hate hunting.”, he confirmed instead.   
Merlin looked at home here. Like he was the guidance, the protector of nature. Like all of this was his personal kingdom.   
It was.... magical. 

Arthur knew it was time.   
“I gave you the truth potion, because I wanted to know how you feel about me.”, he said, quite out of breath.   
Merlin's head whipped around in confusion.   
“I meant to play it as a joke and hope I'd find out, if you love me back.”

The wind around them almost stilled at the confession. Merlin blinked at him. Confusion in his eyes.   
Right... this was not the Merlin he had wanted to confess to.   
That had been the magicless, lying Merlin. 

“I hardly know you.”, Merlin said, almost apologetically.   
“No.”, Arthur shook his head and walked forwards. “But I know you. I always have.”  
Merlin raised an eyebrow.   
“You just proved to me that this -”, Arthur raised his arms at the display of magic.  
“THIS changes nothing.”

Merlin stared at him in wonder. 

“If anything – it makes me love you more.” Arthur looked away. Trying to focus on anything BUT Merlin. There was so much to focus on. But each detail in the picture of this clearing was made by Merlin. Arthur could not look away. No matter how much he wanted to.   
So he closed his eyes. Only to see Merlin occupying his mind. 

“It does?”  
Arthur opened his eyes to see Merlin standing between a deer and a group of bunnies.   
He looked ethereal between them.   
He had hope and wonder in his eyes.   
And so, Arthur couldn't stop himself. Chances were, Merlin would never remember this moment. And if he did... Arthur knew Merlin would forgive him. 

Arthur strode confidently towards Merlin, grabbed him by the shoulder and kissed him. 

Now.... Arthur could probably notice how Merlin stiffened under him. How his golden eyes widened and glowed just a shade brighter. Or the way Merlin melted soon after. Or how he closed his eyes and tilted his head to kiss back properly. Sighing in content and relief.   
Never mind the silent witnesses around them. 

Because two things were happening at once in this very moment. 

The first thing....  
was another side effect of the magic potion. Because, as it gathered within Merlin's body, absorbed by his mind, his brain and his blood, it absorbed all of his memories.   
They weren't lost, he just didn't have access to it. 

Arthur, however.... 

now did. 

Arthur kissed Merlin. Upon contact, images flashed his mind. Images, memories, that were not his own.   
Memories of loss and pain and love.  
A dragon, a woman in a lake, a dying king, Wyverns, magical beasts and.... among other things:   
destiny. 

Arthur gasped, as the truth hit him with full force and all at once.   
Secrets, lies, they all paled next to Merlin's devotion, his loyalty and his love for Arthur.   
The destiny crumbled beneath Merlin's desire to protect his king.   
His fears vanished compared to his courage. 

The deeper the kiss went, the cleared the images became. The clearer Arthur understood. The more he felt his own love directed back at him.   
It was a sensation unlike any other. 

When he finally parted from Merlin, he had seen everything. 

He looked into Merlin's eyes and realized what the other thing was. Love breaks every enchantment.   
Merlin stared back at him, his eyes still golden. 

They knew. They both knew what just happened. What this moment had declared and revealed.   
It was clear what this meant for the, what it meant for the future.   
It was a silent promise, a form of understanding each other that none other had ever received before.  
They would be fine. They would always be fine. 

There was just....  
nothing left to say.(4)

**Author's Note:**

> I kept thinking...  
> if Arthur kisses a Merlin who isn't the Merlin he knows yet, isn't that morally questionable somehow?  
> BECAUSE that's not the guy he's in love with, kinda, right?  
> WRONG! Arthur loves ALL of Merlin.   
> Merlin without memories is still Merlin. It's just a little less the Merlin he knows. That's not less to love. that's more love directed at the part that's still there. Love can spread and grow. It's allconsuming (in their case at least D:). That's why Arthur is always such a DISASTER 
> 
> (1) I was rewatching random episodes. This is a quote from season 3 episode 11: a servant's shadow  
> (2) I could imagine a drunk Merlin talk to a drunk Gwaine about magic and both of them forgetting about it in the morning. Drunk Gwaine knows, but sober Gwaine probably doesn't.   
> Good thing Gwaine is always drunk.  
> (3) Since Merlin has forgotten most of his memories, he's not lying when he says he hates killing. And that he never did.   
> (4) Nothing right either …. hahaha. I'm so funny D:


End file.
